I sit in stillness. I sit in the storm. Swirling twirling taking over my mind. Sleep will not come. Peace is far from me. If only there was an escape to this madness. But there is not.
The day breaks. Dawn comes unwelcome to my weary eyes, my body drained of a sleepless night. And yet, it comes.
Could there be a new day in this dawn. Could the load lighten from my heart? Maybe. I stretch on the canvas of my bed and nudge myself awake. Bones, body, muscles, thoughts.
Coffee fills me. I put my hope in this mug. It’s a crutch I know, but not one I’m willing to let go of. What can weave me out of this thought web of heavy? Children. They have a morning love, untouched and bounding with pride. My heart gives thanks.
And then rain. Falling falling outside. A quickening in me says go outside. See something other than this tangle. Nature is always healing.
I sit on the back porch listening deeply to the pour of the sky. My puppy follows and lays by my side. I think she knows, this is what I need. Comfort from the clouds bursting with water, comfort from this mug I hold in my hands and comfort from her presence. Her fur, a blanket I stroke. A comfort to us both.
I will take it. I will take the little things. Let it swallow me whole and pull me from the darkness, and bring me into the good of the world again.